| Byes. |
[Mar. 4th, 2005|10:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Content. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Green Day - Holiday | ] |
This is goodbye. This journals done for. It's been real.
I found out a lot tonight. I've been lied to. Everythings a lie. I was foolish to give myself away so easily. I'm going back to the way I was, not trusting anyone. Don't tell me this ending makes you sad. I'm done, if you don't hear from me for a while, consider me dead.
Peace. |
|
|
| bleh |
[Feb. 23rd, 2005|08:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | mmm? | ] |
| [ | music |
| | i ono | ] |
ive got problems.
problems problems problems.
not enough answers to to many questions |
|
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| Great Fucking Day of Squirellish Doom!! |
[Feb. 19th, 2005|01:38 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Waffle ish. :D | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Bark Dog Bark!!! | ] |
Whoa! Like Whoa!
k, i planned on getting up and waiting for green day tickets from 5 this morning to 10 and meet the two girls from woodruf there and be all happy and fun and freeze to death. cool. buuuuuut jeremy : glares : fell asleep. HE WAS ON GUARD!! so mom woke us up at 6:45. im like SHIT FUCK ASS DICK SHIT TITTY DAMN MOTHER COCK SMOKING PENIS LICKING : jeremys fone rings : SON OF YOUR MOM THE SQUIR : fone ringing : ELL FROM HELL THAT I WANT TO AAAAAH FUCKING ASSHOLES! then jeremy answered and it was them lol. so i got all dressed and pretty lol (as pretty as possible after 3 hours of sleep) then we started to go down there and drove by a cop, so i couldnt speed. :( then i found out the parking meters are free on saturdays! so i got to park conveniently!! :D then we found them, and we froze outside. and juuuust when they had almost convinced me to go and get blankets from home, they opened the doors and let us wait inside. sooo we were like numbers 6-11 in line. so that was cool. :) but over time people cut us so we were like 18-23. so at 10 (after a quick three hours that we were actually sad ended we got tickets) so we all gave heather our money and she got 6 tickets (one for her friend, me, her, 'cedes, jeremy, and this girl with them named wendy) we got floor seats! :D!! and after we got them we were waiting around because we wanted to chill some more, and we were wasting time. the next people to get tickets got the LAST two floor tickets. sooo missy and her friends (green day freaks) didnt get floor seats. :( they sold out soooo fast. so then we decided to meet them at the mall, after a quick stop here, quick stop at mcdonalds (for breakfast!! i havent made breakfast in like 8 years!! i was so excited! ^-^) we caught up to em at the mall. we kicked it and had much fun up until about 1:30. (i think jeremy and that girl wendy will hook up, which is funny because she dresses preppy and jeremy......heh...and she's really smart and jeremys...heh...and they are like so different on the outside, but he was the only one she would talk to....odd..) so anyways, me and heather kept leaving everyone else, lol. we didnt mean to, wed be like lets go here, and nobody would follow..bastards. then we played hide and hide. lol. they didnt even know they were playing! lol. we walked around the mall like 23442352 times. and me and jeremy made EXCELLENT window models for abercrombie & fitch..the guy was like im going to call sec..and we left. lol. we were dancing, it was great. through all of the excitement i forgot about my ticket..then we were in waldenbooks and i was like OMG FLOOR TICKET GREEN DAY!! and they were like O.O ..uhh..yeah. im like shut it, i was tired. lol. i think i have to take mary to go shopping and get groceries now..fun...fun................right.. i want to watch resident evil 2. but w/e. :)
GREEN DAY BABY! SUCK MY LEFT NUT!
waffle waffle waffle give me my carbs. :D
Nookie. |
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| Fun Fun.. |
[Feb. 16th, 2005|05:35 pm] |
Oh how fun it is to be depressed. Fun mother fucking fun. |
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| Scholastic Bowlish Death |
[Feb. 15th, 2005|07:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | pretty good/hungry/bad/llama.. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Papa Roach - Scars (stuck in my head ><) | ] |
Ok, so like, yeah. I wanna talk all about my night at S.B. First of all, it was at Pekin. I fucking hate that school. The doors dont have knobs, they are like cells. They are all metal with a lock, and a handle type thing. Not just the doors in and out...the classroom doors as well. The matches were ok and everything I guess. I of course answered nothing..
but
yet
im
dumb
like
that
...
Then I met these two cool girls. They seemed fun and stuff. Then they stole my hoodie. Which normally would be fine, but we had to leave before they did...And I was like o.o ....oh shit. So I guess ms. mcraith got it back or something. I bet she was a bitch about it too..I didnt even want her help. Guess I wont hear from them again :(..
Hmm...I havent eaten in 12 hours. I think I'm dying..
..: dies :
Nookie. |
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| Valentine's Day and Stuff |
[Feb. 14th, 2005|05:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Good...but bad if provoked.. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Chocobo Ridin Music...Yee Ha | ] |
Hey everybody.
..Your mom goes to college. ><
Just thought I'd let you all know that you suck. If I have to hear one more girl complain about getting a gift from a guy they dont like, or oh its too expensive, or oh it's not enough. Whatever, if you don't like it, you don't like it. But PLEASE for my sake shut the fuck up about it. I dont fucking care. And if I have to hear one more complaint about anything dealing with this fucking day, I'm going to scream. I don't care about your love problems, work it out, or resort to your hand. Don't drag me into it. Damn you. Just damn you.
And now since I'm a total douche. You get to listen to me talk somemore. I love you Gill. :) I really wish I could be with you today, but as fate would have it, I can't. But I think we'll live through this, because unlike others..grr..we can actually deal with things like this..without crying to someone who obviously doesn't care. :) Point is, you own my heart babe, and this day is really no different than any other for me, I love you as much as I can every day, not just when its recommended.
:D
Ok, hope your Valentine's Day was good, if you don't tell me about it, I'll assume it sucked, and you saved yourself the severe snapping from me by not telling me about it.
Frankly, your my friends, and I can help friends with love things...but...not 234207578238 friends in one day. Im done for the hour, day, and even week. Have a nice love life, or pick up masturbation, either way, I don't bloody care.
Good Day. |
|
|
| :) |
[Feb. 13th, 2005|10:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | Great, and in love.. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Cooper's barking.. | ] |
Hey peoples. Not much going on right at the moment. I'm being forced into going to this new church at least once, so I'll go today.
Hmm..
I just wanted to say that today is Katie and I's four month anniversary thing. So yeah. :D I love her soooooo much. It's kinda cool because tomorrow's Valentine's Day. I have my Valentine, my Valentine this year, the next year, and for more after that. Babe, you're my Last Valentine.
I wrote a poem to show it:
Through the dark of the world
Between all the blood and tears
One thing will always remain
This pure feeling, destroying fears
I would tear out my heart to show
Your beautiful name displayed inside
What could be seen amongst the beating
My pure love for you's eternal glow
You are the full moon on a late walk
And yet the eye of a fierce hurricane
Although all we can do now is talk
Soon your kiss will heal my pain
I long for the feeling you will bring
Dream of the touch, your hand in mine
To have that I would give up everything
Even die before the age of tasting wine
I've had these feelings for a short time
They will last forever as a straight line
This piece will now end with one final rhyme
I'll Love You Forever, my Last Valentine
Ok, I gotta go now.
Love You Katie.
Nolan.
(Happy Valentine's Day everyone) |
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| The Best and Worst Day |
[Feb. 9th, 2005|09:10 pm] |
Bad News : Mark wants Cooper. He will prolly get him.
Good News : Mom's lawyer says we may have a chance to keep him...may.
Bad News : Something I can't share..but it's equally as bad.
Good News : I beat Ruby Weapon of FFVII. Something I've never done.
Bad News : I'm doing worse in school. I promised mom better.
Good News : Gill loves me.
Bad News : Even more personal. Pretty bad.
Good News : My grade 12(senior) year will be really easy. I have 4 'classes' but they're all easy.
Bad News : I "need" another class.
Good News : With all of this pressure I'm not suicidal.
Bad News : But this pressure is getting to me..one way or another..
Good News : Tomorrow I just might finish work on that damned pig.
Bad News : I'm prolly failing three different classes.
Good News : I did my History report in one night.
Bad News : Printer fucked up. Haven't turned in the paper yet. Now I can get a C..at best.
Good News : I'm still alive. Still breathing. Still cheerfull. Still what you want me to be..
Nolan. |
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|
| Blah.. |
[Feb. 7th, 2005|06:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | hmm.. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Malice Mizer - Illuminati | ] |
Ok, so yeah. Bad night. Long story. I'm ok, for now. Who knows how long that little bit will last.
Uhmm..didn't go to school today. Chilled here alone for most of the day. Everyone here is nervous, tense, and jumpy. And I'm beginning to go insane. Just about everything is annoying me right now. And I don't feel like talking about it. I really don't feel like talking at all. Aaron's here, didn't call, came over un-invited again, I can tell mom's pissed about that. So now I get evil looks for his rudeness. That's getting old fast. Especially since I didn't go to school today, I could be here sick, a number of things could be happening, and what does he do? fucking show up anyways. And as soon as I get off of the comp, he'll get on it, then when I want back on, I get to watch his g/f go awwwwh, or that sucks, or how gay, or tell him you dont want to go, or can i call, or some rude comment..It's my fucking computer, I fucking payed for it, it's MY fucking house, MY fucking cell phone. I wonder if he considers me a friend, or some sort of crash buddy..
Lots of things are wrong not enough's right.
I'm sitting alone but out of nobody's sight.
Although I speak to you I never really answer.
My insides are a battlefield of morbid disaster.
My shadow far out-shines my blackened heart.
This darkness inside of me is some sick art.
The light from the outside sometimes sinks in.
But right where it ends, my darkness begins.
First poemish thing I've written in months. It sucks.
Nolan. |
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| Boredish Boredom |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|01:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Llama? | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Foamish Foamyness of Death! | ] |
: dies :
so bored.
been waiting for her to come on for an hour n a half.
now..i need something else to do..before i die.
Taste My Squirelly Wrath! I do have Squirelly Wrath you know..
..Cream Cream Cheese Cheese Cheesey Cheese Cream..
Stigmaaaaaaattaaaaaa...in your eye.
Bow to Master Foamy!! |
|
|
| boo fucking hoo! |
[Feb. 1st, 2005|11:02 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sick..so fantastic!! =.=;; | ] |
| [ | music |
| | my ears are ringing, if that counts.. | ] |
im sick. home. >< gay. i didnt want to go today, but i didnt want to stay home and die of boredom.
i went to sleep at 7:30 last night.
compared to my usual 12-1, thats pretty damn early.
yeah, just woke up, played some final fantasy, and now i miss katie. :'(
hmm..
: dies :
I Miss You Gilly. ><
Nolan |
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| first question thing for forever |
[Jan. 30th, 2005|02:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | good good. :) | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mortal Combat. > | ] |
ok. im updating. im not giving up lj. changed muh mind. dont ask. :)
this was stolen from stef. i liked it enough.
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish I was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think I'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. When's the last time you saw me?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Do you think I could kill someone?
32. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you?
fill it out or i will find you. :)
Nolan. |
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| Thank You |
[Jan. 28th, 2005|06:17 pm] |
Thanks to everyone who commented or read this livejournal.
It's been nice. So thank you all.
I'm done with livejournal now.
I'm giving up a lot.
So Goodbye. |
|
|
| :: cries :: |
[Jan. 25th, 2005|10:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | waaaaaaaaah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | my own sobbing > | ] |
omg i just finished the saddest book since where the red furn grows.
><
it was soo good though.
i had to update, i can't stop crying.
:: sob ::
farewell kibeth, you will be missed. |
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| damn it all |
[Jan. 24th, 2005|03:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | mad/wet/cold/sad/depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none. | ] |
i just want to cry so bad right now.
i walked home from scholastic bowl 45 minutes early. left practice. i couldnt take it. they werent even practicing. the first words to come out of the coaches mouth were.."as you all know, we are going on a trip to chicago. if you did not help any of the three days, you cannot go." so already, i cant go. i feel even better when i find out that 1/2 the people who are going dont even come to practice. let alone play in a game. they just float along with the real team, going to dinner after matches and having fun in the occasional practice. thats so fucked up. this isnt a team anymore, its a fucking field trip group.
and great. i wore my bondage pants today, so now the bottoms are dripping from the snow. i sure enjoyed that mile walk home uphill when i could have been doing one of the few things i enjoy. :) that was wonderful....
i hurt my wrist in pe today, the teacher said if we cant stand on our head we get an F for the week. thanks for that...oh and thanks to the idioc twelve year old looking kid who asked if i was gay because of my lipring. thanks for brightening my day you prick.
i couldnt cheer katie up at all last night, and im sure tonights going to be just as bad.
and the only thing that could cheer me up right now, i cant do, moms not here, so no pool for me. and since katies prolly going to be upset herself, i doubt she'll want to waste her breath trying to cheer me up.
so yeah, i thought today would be a pretty good day, the only downside would be that i was of course going to be sad about not being able to help my gf when she needs it..but on top of that empty feeling, i had an absolutely shitty day.
thanks for the half hour of listening about a super fun trip that i cant go on.
thanks for stupid ass people who dont know shit about shit
thanks for jerk-off teachers
thanks for the 3000 miles between me and the one i love.
thanks for teams who don't actually care about what the team is supposed to be
and above all thanks for all the idiots out there that make my life a living hell.
> |
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| A REVELATION!!! |
[Jan. 22nd, 2005|02:11 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | aldfjasdkfjkasdfjk GREAT! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | aaron playin crimson skies | ] |
OK OMG!! we invested in mountain dew. 2 liters. right got that. good. ok. so we go to open 2 liter #2. it wont. im like well i have sweaty hands. aaron calls me a pussy, then tries..once he starts looking like a ball of crayola crayon in his red facial colors..im like.something is up. katie teased us for being weak. thanks baby, i love you too. :D hmm, ok, so about fifteen minutes later, i have cuts in my hand from this cap. its on like nothing ever has been. ok, so when i convince her im not faking it, by my bruised and cut hand, she says to get a refund. but im a guy. we dont lose to inatimate objects well. so i go aaron, bring me a tool. any tool. he brings a...
hammer.
now the smart ones of you see where this is going. yes. i went over to the downstairs sink and tried to pry this cap off. notta. nothing no budge. i go here we go. hit the PISS out of it..crack the cap..try it......notta. nothing. nein. >< DAMNIT FUCK SHIT ASSCRACK! yes thats a sample. so i was getting hot now, pissed everything. i didnt even care about the soda. aaron holds the webcam as i cock my arm back..and mind you, after hitting this thing with a hammer about 15 times, its pretty well shaken...im holding it with my left hand and its facing towards the monitor of the secondary computer...i swing my arm like this bottle was my arch nemesis. in like one second that bottlecap shot off the window and richoted around the room, in the meantime half of the the two liter SPRAYS, doesnt come out S P R A Y S everywhere. and i mean everywhere. paper in the printer..gone..monitors sticky, window dripping, floor soaking sticky ass mess.
what do i do? laugh my fucking ass off. i laughed so hard i think i died, got resurrected, and was still laughing. yes folks, ive done it. the official stupidest most funniest thing ever.
thanks and goodnite!
Nookie. |
|
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| kasdjfadkfjaskdfjkjadkfjakdn |
[Jan. 18th, 2005|09:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | pretty good. :) | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Eminem - Bitch Please II | ] |
GAH! ok, well i guess you people do still read this. good to know. thanks to all who commented, even those with not so pleasant things to say....
Ok, and in other news. Uhhh didn't get to sleep til three last night. that was quite lovely. :) Hmm today was sorta interesting. But I was unendingly stared at. As if people JUST realized I DO exist. : gasp :
Uhhhhhhhhh..had scholastic bowl today, that was cool I suppose. Gotta write another U.S. History paper..hoorah. -.- That class is gay, but I actually enjoy it. I don't however enjoy my fucking pig anymore, we have spent WAY too much time disecting the little bastard. Mine and Brandon no longer looks like a pig, it now looks like a mutilated new species. ><
Im drinking like 60 ounces of water a day now...I don't know how that's even possible since a week and a half ago I hated water..Funny how things change..
Hmmdy hmm hm hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I now spend most of my time either talking to Katie, or thinking about her. I guess I will soon be painting a bathroom for moms. If I do it, not only will she pay me, but then we get to deck out my room. :D I didn't even know I had a room anymore. : shrugs : It's all good I guess...
I no longer despise Gackt. -.- No comments.
OH OH OH OH :D!! I stole like a million packets of hot sauce today from a taco place. ahahaaha that was funny. I kept going up there and grabbing more. Then when I got my tacos, I was like this shit isn't even hot!! : grabs three more handfulls : So now my jackets pocket is bulging with hot sauce packets.
Beaver asked me if I use my safety pins for self mutilation. -.- I was so tempted to say not anymore. But I just said nah, it's not like that...
I think I passed my classes. :)
Mr Hedmen's still an assbag. ><
Uhh I haven't produced a poem in about two weeks..thats bad..I think I lost most of my fans because of that. >< I had a good 15 or so goin too..eh..oh well....
Ahahahahaha Eureka's scholastic bowl gay percentage - 40%
VERY VERY GAY BEYOND RAINBOW GAY - 3. >< AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Today was amusing. I can't believe its 9:30 already. ><
I miss Katie. Have fun at soccer babe.
LOVE YOU!!!
Nookie. |
|
|
| hmm..fuck you. |
[Jan. 14th, 2005|01:24 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | ...fuck... | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ...fuck you...its prolly a song.. | ] |
ok, look you fucking ass rammers. i ask for fucking comments and what do i fucking get, i get fucking ignored. fuck that, fuck you, im done with this fucking shit. im done fucking updating until i get a total of 100 comments on this fucking entry from at least ten fucking different fucking people (not each one, some could comment more than others mind you, it just has to total 100..with at least ten different people..). if my demands are fucking met im going to fucking kill someone. or at least stop fucking updating. god this is fucking bullshit. in my last four fucking entries, three of the mother fuckers don't have any fucking comments. so yeah, fuck you unless you fucking comment...and another thing, my comments in your fucking piece of shit journal aren't going to be very fucking nice if you dont fucking comment on this fucking entry.
fuck this shit.
im out.
i said fuck 25 times not including this and the title by the fucking way
make this twenty fucking six and soon seven.
...fuck. |
|
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| yayayaya |
[Jan. 13th, 2005|07:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | very me. not good or bad.. | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Adema..like..4 different songs..long entry.. | ] |
ok, its day two of my mini-vacation. today was kinda ok. nothing went bad, but nothing super cool happened either. did get to talk to katie a lot, that was cool :D. other than that, not much besides paul/nolan interaction. lol. hmm. ok so the only thing im really looking forward to is playin pool on monday.
i had planned on playing and beating both fable and prince of persia warrior within. but katie keeps staying home, so there is no video game time. sometimes things dont go as planned, but that is certainly not always a bad thing. i love talking to that girl. :)
i look really white today. i dunno why. its weird..i want to get my tongue pierced for my birthday, have yet to tell moms that. not much to talk about. like i said today was rather blahish. dont you like my super cool icon? im going to make it better when i get the real picture, all i had was the crappy version so its staying outdated.
i havent produced a poem, well cept one for katie, in like a week. that sucks, but hey, im on vacation, leave me the eff alone. i got along with my mom yesterday, and although i have only talked to her briefly today, we haven't fought yet, this is good. :D see? good things happen when you treat me like a human, and dont come up to me screaming. advice to the world, walking up to me yelling is bad for your health..
I'm not afraid to die! You can't kill me, I'm immortal....bitches.
listening to some adema. :D
paul looks like he's having a shitty day, so if you know be nice to you or ill break your fucking legs! >< i hate mean people...cept me..im cool...heheh.....
uhhh..have i mentioned i hate your teenage turmoil? you all suck. suck suck suck. i know that includes me too. i suck! shut up! ill kill you!!
pauls mom asked about my shirt..its slipknot..so..that was awkward..the air got thicker than death. i thought i couldn't breahte i was like comma wha?
im getting kinda worried, for the past three weeks ill suddenly lose most of the feeling in the same finger. it feels weird, and hurts to touch stuff. it just comes and goes. sometimes it takes a long time to go away, sometimes i wonder if it was really there, but its kinda scary.
now its friend bashing time..
aaron - douche bag. never calls to come over. doesnt warn me. nothing. gets on my computer without asking, thats gotta stop. eats my food. doesn't take my hints to leave. expects me to be able to harbor him when he leaves his house..not likely.
chris - your smart. admit it. you arent as depressed as you think/say you are. you claim suicide, but want attention. your failing school, and that promise you made me in eighth grade about how you were DEFINETLY graduating from high school at least, is starting to look cracked, soon to be broken. you don't think anyone cares about you, but thats because you don't let them.
jeremy - you're too jeremyish at times.
paul - ...hm....ill come back to you when i have something bad to say..
bob - you're not jeremyish enough at times.
those are just the people who came to my head right away, if you want me to tell you whats wrong with you, be sure to tell me.
hmm..i detest a lot of you..keep that in mind.
if i have ever said something about loving you, stood up for you, or said that i would die for you, feel lucky. although im a serious asshole, part of me cares about you.
case in point..comment or get stabbed. i know where you sleep you whiney little bitches! and i still have my rusty spork of doom!
BE WARNED!
Nookie. |
|
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| Im cooler than you...admit it.. |
[Jan. 11th, 2005|10:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | << >> IM INNOCENT | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Linkin Park...better not mention the song... | ] |
Ok, so like, yeah. I get like 6 days off. :) go me.
So I'm already bored, and I've fought with my mom 4 times since my not-so-mini-break started. She actually had the nerve to say that I asked her for a car. I did no such thing, she told me that she would get me one. I don't know wtf her problem is, but it seems like she can't decide to treat me like I'm 30 or 3. So what ensues is like this screaming at me like I'm a child who's going to flee in terror, and expecting me not to defend myself when she's WRONG. And at the same time accuse me of being a bum because I don't have a job and don't "help around the house." Bullshit. I do everything she asks of me, and nothing more. I am so sick of her bullshit, and I'm done feeling sorry for her. She yelled at me because the bathroom door was broke..wtf? I'm a 16 year old kid with no male influence, how the fuck should I know how to fix a fucking door? I told her the holes for the screws were stripped..but no..she's stupid.
So then Aaron comes over, he has mom problems too. GAY.
But in super cool news, I am so in love with Katie. :D I wrote her a good poem, I actually liked it, but too bad for you, its just for her.
*long break, katie signed on*
ok, forgot what i was gonna say..
Nookie. |
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